Tears rolled down Jane’s cheeks as she stared
at the framed picture on her bed stand. It was 10 am in the morning and she was
still in bed. She’d been awake for an hour, but she wasn't ready to face the
day. She’s been living like this since the news of the boat mishap which
supposedly claimed Jake’s life was published in the Washington Post one week
ago. She’d wake up every morning and just stare at the picture she and Jake had
taken on the afternoon they visited the Mall together for the first time. That
was the last time they spent together before the boat mishap. As she stared at
the picture, she continued to sob, letting the tears from her eyes trickle down
her cheeks and soak up her pillow. So many memories flooded her mind as she
stared at the picture: the afternoon she had received the news about the mishap
on the Potomac River, the search team that was launched, and the success the
search team had in recovering the other bodies involved, which she didn't really see as success because Jake’s was not among the bodies recovered. She
thought about Sam, John and Philip and the way their unconscious bodies had
looked when they were rescued from the river. She was eighteen years old and
remembering the summer she and Jake had fallen in love, the summer she had a
heart attack and how Jake had been by her side the whole time. Even though she
and Jake had only been seeing each other for a year, she felt as though he was
the reason she was able to face the many challenges of her life. He was the
reason she found strength to press on with her life after she lost her dad and
her doctor told her she didn't have much time to live because of her heart
condition. Every moment she spent with Jake made her feel that she could live
longer than her doctor had predicted. Now that he was gone, she wondered
whether she would be able to face life anymore. The strength to live was no
longer in her and with the passage of each day she felt weaker and weaker. She
continued to stare at the picture until she was interrupted by a knock on the
door. Her mom poked her head in.
“Breakfast is ready. I made you your
favorite: pancakes with gravy.” Jane didn't respond. She sat up on the bed and
continued to stare at the picture. “Sweetie, are you crying again?”
When Jane didn't answer, her mom
crossed the room, sat beside her and gently clasped her hand. “Sweetie, you
can’t continue to live like this; no amount of tears is going to bring Jake
back to life.”
“Mom, he was the only boy I have
ever truly loved and we didn't even get to spend our lives together like we had
hoped. First it was dad and now Jake.” She buried her face in her mom’s
shoulder and continued to sob.
“It’s okay, sweetie; stop
crying, everything happens for a reason.” Her mom patted her back. Jane looked
up at her mom and sighed.
“What reason, mom? What can
possibly be the reason that he was the only one who didn't make it alive?”
“Sweetie, I don’t know but
you’re going to have to pull yourself together; you are still very young, you
have your whole life ahead of you and I don’t think you want to spend it
mourning Jake.”
“Jake was my life, mom; without
him there isn't much for me to live for.”
“Don’t talk like that, sweetie; you
have me and Jaden, and I’m sure if your father were still alive he wouldn't like to see you like this.” Her mom sighed and continued.
“It’s okay, pumpkin; stop crying.”
She pulled her close and kissed her forehead.
“Where is Jaden?” Jane asked.
“He’s in the living room; he just
finished eating. He thinks you’re sick and that’s why you haven’t been coming
out for breakfast. I think he misses you.” Jane looked at her mom and let out a
smile which faded as quickly as it had come.
“I know; he left this note on my
bed yesterday. I think he writes very well for a thirteen year-old.” She
brought out a piece of paper from underneath her pillow and handed it to her
mom.
Good morning sister; I pray that you get well soon. I miss watching the
Amazing Race with you. I also miss going to the mall with you every Saturday.
Sorry about Jake, I miss him too. I miss him driving me around in his car.
Anyway, I just pray you get well soon. I really miss you. Love Jaden.
Her mom
smiled after reading the note. “I guess those after school English classes
really worked for him.”
“Mmhmm,”
Jane nodded. In the silence that followed, her mom wiped the tears off her face
and twisted her long hair into a loose pony-tail on her back.
“I
think you should always carry your hair like this; it’s beautiful,” her mom
said. Jane smiled and nodded.
“Mom, Jake was very ambitious; he
had so many great dreams for us. He didn't have to die.”
“I know, sweetie. And I’m sorry
about everything. You know, I was out of town when everything happened, and you
never really told me how it all started. Sometimes it helps if you talk about
it. You've been so quiet these last
couple of days.”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“You can start from the beginning.
Jaden mentioned something about paper kites.”
Jane crossed her arms, knowing the
story hadn't started there. “Not really,” she said. “I think it started with
the boat.”
“What boat?”
Jane reached
for the stack of magazines and newspapers on the bed stand and gently removed a
fairly new travel magazine sandwiched between two large books. She opened to a
page in the magazine and then handed it to to her mom.
“This
boat,” she said. “The one at the Washington Harbor.” Her mom looked at the
picture of the boat in the magazine for a couple of seconds and then placed it
on the bed.
“What has
the boat got to do with anything? Besides, there are many boats at the Harbor.”
“I
know, mom, but this boat was different. It was used by Queen Victoria for
short-distance travels around the British Isles. It was refurbished and placed
on auction three weeks ago.” She paused and then continued. “Jake’s father
bought the boat for half a million dollars, and three days later, Jake decided
to take it for a test ride on the Washington channel of the Potomac River with
his friends: Sam, John and Philip. He had asked me to come but I told him I didn't feel like it. Two days passed and I didn't hear from Jake or any of his
three friends. I tried calling him several times, but he didn't pick his calls.
I knew something was wrong because Jake had never gone for a whole day without
calling me, let alone two days. So after I didn't hear from him for another two
days, I decided to pay him a visit. When I got to his house, his father showed
me the report in the Washington Post about a boat mishap that drowned four
teenagers in the river. He told me that Jake was among the teenagers and that
the police had launched a search team. But as it turned out, the search team
never found Jake.” Tears stood in her eyes as she finished.
“It’s okay, sweetie; I heard the
police is still searching for Jake. Who knows, they just might find him.”
“Mom, it’s been seven days; they’ll
never find him. His dead,” she said tearfully.
“Baby, you can’t be so sure.”
“Even if they find him, mom; I’m
sure he’ll be dead by now. It’s been seven good days, mom.” She stood up and
walked towards the door.
“But miracles do happen, sweetie.”
Jane snorted. “Mom, you said that when
dad was in a coma, but he never made it out alive. You said that when I was
first diagnosed with a heart condition, but nothing changed. You said that when
Jaden became paralyzed, but he is still in a wheel chair. Mom, I think miracles
stopped happening to us a long time ago.” Her mom didn't say anything. She knew
Jane was right. She, too, was now beginning to doubt if miracles still did
happen. As far as she and her daughter knew, they hadn't happened in a long
time. And most importantly, they hadn't happened when her family so desperately
needed them to happen.
“Jane, I am so glad you are finally
feeling better,” Jaden said as Jane pushed him down R Street where they lived,
near the Montrose Park.
“Me too bud, I missed you.”
“You know why I like summer?” Jaden
asked.
“No, why?”
“Because it’s always bright and sunny;
the flowers are always fresh and the air always smells so good. Do you like
summer?” Jaden asked his sister.
“Mmhmm,” she nodded.
“Why?”
“Well, let’s see, it’s always sunny
like you said, and don’t forget the butterflies.”
“Ah, yes, the butterflies; you've got
to love them butterflies.” As Jane listened to her brother talk she knew that
she had just lied to him. She knew that she didn't really like summers anymore.
Not since their father died in the summer of last year from a heart attack and
she had her first heart attack six months later. The doctor had said her heart
attack was hereditary. It ran in her father’s family blood line. It was also
during the summer, two years ago, that Jaden had woken up one morning and
suddenly couldn't use both of his feet. And now, this summer wasn't yet over
and she was already mourning the love of her life. As Jane and her brother
continued down the sidewalk, Jaden called out at a boy who was about to cross
the road in front of them.
“Charles!” Jaden yelled. The boy
turned and looked in Jaden’s direction. He started walking towards them as soon
as he saw Jaden. “Charles just moved into the neighborhood. He’s into cars and
basketball. I think you’ll like him, he’s my friend and he’s pretty cool,”
Jaden said to Jane as the boy approached them, but she didn't say anything.
“J-force,” the boy said as he drew
closer.
“He calls me J-force. Pretty cool
name, huh?” Jane didn't answer. She seemed to be taken aback by the muscular 6
feet 2 inch-boy whose long, dark, lustrous hair touched his shoulders.
“What’s up, J-force?” the boy said as
he ruffled Jaden’s hair.
“I’m fine, Charley boy; how have you
been?”
“ I've been great, man; was about to go
shoot some hoops with the guys.”
“Cool; hey, Charley boy, meet Jane, my
sister; Jane, meet Charley boy.”
“Hello beautiful,” Charles flashed his
perfect teeth.
“Nice to meet you,” he stretched his
hand for a handshake.
“Nice to meet you, too,” Jane shook
his hand and for a moment, their eyes were locked.
“Ahem,” Jaden coughed to interrupt the
moment.
“Don’t get too friendly, Charles; she’s
not available.”
“J-force, you didn't tell me how
beautiful your sister is.”
“Well, you didn't ask.”
“So, you just moved into the
neighborhood?” Jane asked.
“Yeah, one month ago.”
“So, how do you like it?”
“It’s a pretty cool neighborhood and I
think your presence makes it even cooler,” Jane twirled her hair and smiled.
“See, I've got to go now, but I’ll see
you later.”
“Okay, later.”
“Hey, J-force, you wanna come shoot some hoops?”
“Not today, man; I’m having some alone
time with big sister here. It’s been a while since we hung out.”
“All right, man. See you later,” he said
and then went across the road.
“You like him, don’t you?”
“No! Why would you say that? I don’t
even know him.”
“You like him, I saw how you stared into
each other’s eyes when he shook your hand and how you blushed and twirled your
hair when he complimented you.”
“Okay, so I think he is cute; but it doesn't make any difference. Nothing is ever going to happen between us.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I don’t think I’m in the right
frame of mind to go out with somebody else. Besides, it’s been barely a week
since the incident with Jake; I think it’s too early to start dating again,” Jane
said as they went down 32nd Street NW towards Montrose Park.
“I agree, but I think you need to
start dating again, because that’s the only way you can really get your mind
off Jake.”
“What makes you think I want to get
my mind off Jake?”
“Are you going to spend the rest of
your life thinking about Jake? Jane, Jake is never coming back; you said that
yourself. You’re going to have to let go of your memories of him and move on
with your life with somebody else. I’m not saying Charles is that person; all
I’m saying is keep an open mind, because you just never know.”
Jane smiled. “Sometimes I forget you
are just thirteen; you've always sounded older than your age,” she said and
ruffled his hair.
He, too, smiled. “Some people say I have
an old soul.”
“You sure do,” Jane chuckled. “Yesterday,
mom said that miracles do happen, I didn't believe her. But deep inside me I
wished that some miracle will bring Jake back to me. So, I forced myself to
still believe that miracles still do happen. I figured maybe if I believed in
miracles again, they just might begin to happen again, starting with Jake,”
Jane said as they stopped under an almond tree in the park. She sat down on the
wooden bench underneath the tree and stared at her brother.
“Why are you looking at me like
that?”
“Nothing, I’m just amazed at how quickly you
are growing into a young man. Is that a mustache you are growing?” Jane
laughed.
“Where?” Jaden felt the area of his
mouth above his upper lip. “Are you serious?”
“No, I was just kidding; there’s nothing
there yet, maybe in another three years. But you really are growing into a
handsome young man.” Jane smiled.
Jaden beamed. “Aww; thanks sis,” he
said. “So, about miracles.”
“What about them?”
“I too don’t believe in miracles; I
think it is easier to believe in magic,” Jaden chuckled. “And I know I said
Jake was never coming back. But, I was thinking, what if, may be, Jake was
found by a kind fisherman and is right now receiving treatment at a hospital in,
say, Virginia?”
“ I've wished for that for the past
one week and it still didn't happen. Sometimes, I try to tell myself that this
whole thing has been a dream that is soon going to end. But I think this dream
has refused to end. In fact, this dream has permanently become my reality.”
“Jane, people have been found after having
been declared missing for years.”
“I know that, but I try to keep
myself from hoping for the best. My hopes have always been dashed. I hoped that
dad was going to live, but he didn't I hope and pray every day that I won’t
have to worry about a heart failure, but I've had two heart attacks in the last
three months. Every day I wake up in the morning, I hope that one day you will
get out of this wheel chair and walk on both your feet.” Jane sighed and
continued. “Sometimes, I think it is the hope that we have for the best that
prevents the best from happening. Maybe if we hoped for the worst, then the
best will happen. Come on Jaden; let’s go home before mom starts getting
worried.” Jane stood up and started pushing her brother out of the park.
Weeks soon
ran into months and Jane started going out with Charles. Their relationship had
developed at a rather fast pace and was getting really serious. But Jane did
not realize how serious Charles had taken their relationship until the evening
they had dinner at the Citronelle restaurant on M Street. Charles had paid for
a special place at the restaurant where they could have a cozy time together.
The evening was warm and breezy and Jane was enjoying her chocolate cake desert
as the lobster meal she had eaten lay balmy in her stomach.
“Jane, there is something I've always
wanted to say to you; I knew this from the day we started going out,” Charles
had said as Jane took a quick sip from the glass of wine on the table.
“Okay, I’m all ears.”
Charles took a deep breath and then sighed.
“Jane, you are the most beautiful young lady I've ever been with; and of all
the girls I've dated as a teenager, you’re the only one that I’m sure I would
like to spend the rest of my life with.” Jane’s jaw dropped when he said this.
“Charles, don’t you think you are
getting a little bit ahead of yourself here; I mean, you are only twenty and
I’m just eighteen.”
“I know, but I think at twenty, I know
what I want in a wife. Jane, here,” he brought out a ring from his pocket. “I
want you to wear this ring as a sign that we are going to be together forever.”
“Charles, I’m not sure about this.”
“You’re not sure about us?”
“That’s not what I mean, Charles.”
“Then, what is it?”
“Look, Charles, I love you, I really do; I
mean, the past three months have been great for me. You've given me the
strength to press on with my life again. But I just think we need to take some
time and think this through. Charles, marriage is forever, and we want to
really be sure this is what we want.”
“I know this is what I want, Jane. What
I don’t know is if this is what you want. You do want us to be together,
right?”
“Yes, Charles, but…”
“There is no but baby, we are meant to
be together, can’t you see?”
Jane looked
at him silently for a while and then sighed. “I need some time to think about
this.”
“Okay, take all the time you want,”
Charles said and then put the ring back in his pocket.
“I want to go home,” Jane said.
“Why? We just got here.”
“I know, but I want to go home.”
“Is it what I said? Look, Jane, I’m sorry
if it was what I said.”
“It’s okay, Charles; it’s got nothing to
do with you; just take me home.” Jane stood up and started walking out of the
restaurant. Charles followed her.
“Baby, I’m really sorry if it was what I
said, I…”
“For the last time, Charles, it has got
nothing to do with you. Just take me home, would you?” Jane snapped and stormed
off towards the parking lot.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” Charles said. As they
drove home, Jane stared out the window of the car, without saying a word. The
car was silent until they pulled up at her place on R Street. She didn't wait
for Charles to come around and open the door for her as before; she came out of
the car and started walking towards her house.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said when she
got to the door of her house.
“You’re welcome. Good night,” Charles
said and then planted a kiss on her lips. She gently pushed him away immediately his lips touched hers, and then walked into the house without saying goodnight.
When she walked into their living room, her mom was in the kitchen doing the
dishes and Jaden was fast asleep on his wheel chair, with a copy of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone on
his lap.
“Good evening, mom.”
“Good evening, sweetie. You’re home
already; how did the dinner go?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, mom,”
she replied and then walked into her room. Her mom knew that something was
wrong, because as far as Jane was concerned “I don’t want to talk about it” was code for it went horribly bad.
As she got into her room, Jane took off her pumps and lay prostrate on her bed.
She thought about what Charles had said and she wondered whether she had
overreacted just a little bit. Was she wrong to have declined his proposal? Or
maybe he was wrong to have made such a proposal after just a few months of
being with her. He wasn't in love, he was delirious, she thought. How can
anybody be so in love with somebody after dating them for three months? But as
these thoughts ran through her mind, she wondered whether her reaction at the
restaurant had something to do with the memories of Jake she still struggled to
get over. Somehow, she felt that saying yes to Charles’ proposal would have
been like putting a no-return stamp on Jake. It would have been like finally
giving up hope on the possibility of Jake ever coming back alive. And as much
as she knew that the possibility of Jake’s return were slim to none, she found
it very difficult to accept that fact. Her stream of thoughts was interrupted
by the mild knock on the door. Her mom gently opened the door and walked in
with a plate of stew-covered rice.
“I brought you dinner.”
“I’m not hungry, mom.”
“Okay,” her mom said and then placed
the food on her bed stand. “How did dinner go with Charles?” she asked as she
sat beside her.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, sweetie; but just so you know,
I’m always here for you. You don’t have to carry your burdens alone,” her mom
said and then stood to leave.
“He asked me to marry him,” she said,
startling her mom.
“What?”
Jane sat up on the bed. “Charles
asked me to be his wife; well, those were not exactly his words, but he offered
me a ring which he said was going to be a sign that we would be together
forever. He said that of all the girls he had dated, I was the only one he was
sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with”
“But you two are too young for
marriage, he’s just twenty and you are eighteen.”
“I know; that’s what I told him.”
“So, what did he say?”
“Nothing; I told him I needed some time
to think about it.”
“Think about what, sweetie? You are
just eighteen for crying out loud. You can’t possibly get married at eighteen.”
“Mom, I don’t think he wanted us to
get married now; I think he just wanted me to know that when we get older, he
would like me to be his wife.”
“Sweetie, Charles is only twenty
years old, he cannot be so sure of a life partner right now; I’m pretty sure
he’s going to change his mind by the time he turns twenty-one.”
“But I didn't say no because we were
too young for marriage. I said no because I felt accepting his proposal would
be like totally giving up on Jake’s possible return.”
“Sweetie, it’s been three months
since Jake got drowned in the Potomac River and was never found. His family
performed a funeral service in his honor three months ago; even they have moved
on, and so should you.”
“But what if Jake is still alive?
What if he was found by someone in say, Virginia and has been admitted in a
hospital where he is receiving medical attention?”
Her mom chuckled. “Pumpkin, even if
Jake was found by someone in Virginia like you say, don’t you think the person
would have contacted his parents by now? Sweetie, it’s been three months.” Jane
looked at her mom and then looked away. Her mom was right, she thought.
“Honey, you need to move on with
your life; Jake is dead and the earlier you start seeing it that way, the
better your life would be. Don’t worry, you will find another friend who would
love you like Jake loved you.” She pulled her close and gave her a tight hug.
“Thanks mom.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie, you’re
welcome,” her mom said and then stood to leave. She picked up the plate of food
she had come in with and made for the door.
“Good night, mom.”
“Good night, pumpkin.”
The next day
was Saturday and as early as 8 am in the morning, Jane’s doorbell was chiming
loudly and continuously. Jane’s room was closest to the living room, and
because she was partly awake she was the first to hear the chiming of the
doorbell. She sat up on her bed, and let out a long yawn while stretching. As
she slipped her feet into her pink foam slippers, the doorbell continued to
chime, and she wondered who was disturbing her family’s peace this early on a
Saturday morning. Maybe it was her Italian neighbor who always came to ask them
for sugar. She rubbed her eyes as she
stood behind the door, and without looking through the peephole; she opened it
and there he was, Jake, the long-lost love of her life. He looked very pale and
for a moment she couldn't recognize him, until he said her name in the way he
alone did, with soothing softness in his voice. She couldn't believe her eyes.
Was it Jake or was it his ghost? She had seen the movie, Sam the Ghost and just two weeks ago, she had gone to see The Ghost of Girlfriend’s Past with her
mom. So, the concept of ghost was not strange to her and she believed in
ghosts. As she stood there looking at him, speechless, everything began to spin
around her, her heart suddenly slowed down and she collapsed. Jake rushed to
resuscitate her.
“Jane, baby, please wake up,” he said
as he raised her head and then tilted it forward. As he was bent over trying to
resuscitate her, Jaden came into the living room, and seeing a supposedly dead
Jake with his sister, he screamed.
“Ghost! Mom! Ghost!” His mom ran out
of her room.
“Jaden, what is it?”
“Jesus
Christ, Jake! What, you, you are supposed to be dead,” she stuttered.
“I know Ms. Jacobs, but I’m not dead; this is
not my ghost. It’s a long story.” Jane opened her eyes as he was speaking.
“Jane, sweetie, are you okay?” her mom knelt down
and tried to fan her with her hand. She and Jake then moved her to the couch
and placed her in a reclined position. Then Jake went on to tell them the story
of how his lifeless body was found floating near Harper’s Ferry in West Virginia
by a fisherman. He had been in coma for the past three months. He almost died, he
said. After he came out of coma, he was in the hospital for another two weeks
before he was finally discharged two days ago.
“I just came back from Virginia this
morning and I told my dad I had to come see Jane before doing anything else,”
Jake said as he stared into Jane’s eyes. Tears streamed down her eyes as she
listened to him speak.
“I can’t believe you made it out alive.”
“I too can’t believe it, Ms. Jacobs”
“You see, Jane, miracles still do
happen,” Jaden said.
“Yes, Jaden, miracles still do
happen,” Jane replied and then gave Jake a tight hug.
“Baby, it was your love and prayers
that kept me alive.”
“Thanks for staying alive for me,”
Jane said tearfully as she planted a kiss on his lips and then hugged him
again. This time, both her mom and Jaden joined in the hug.
